Why can't I have ?

My boyfriend and I have tried several times, and it just won't go in. We've tried just about everything, and I can't get turned on or something. I want to, and emotionally I am ready to have , but I can't relax and my muscles tighten down there. The more we fail at it, the more I feel pressure to. I am wondering if I am just scared because I was molested as a kid, but I love my boyfriend, and he's being so sweet and patient about it. Is there anything I can do to relax or do to get turned on? I am open to anything at this point, pretty much desperate. Are there any pills, creams, lubricants, techniques, anything that might help even a little? Or could it be much deeper than that, might I need to see a doctor or therapist?