Dad didn't have a good time at my place. now he is leaving and i feel like a failure?

Your dad is putting you on a guilt trip to make sure he remains in control. Don't let him do this to you. He is stealing your power and your self esteem. Don't allow it. I think you need to be brave and tell him what you have told us. He needs to hear the words and it sounds to me as if he has so much control that everyone just foots around him. Don't say it in anger. Sit him down, or write him a letter and tell him how you truly feel about having him in your life. He needs to know that you can see through his manipulative little games. Grrrrr! I feel so angry for you!! You may also want to tell him that despite all his failings you do love him. At least it seems to me that you do. He needs to love you back and not keep putting you down. Very best wishes to you. You will work it out I am sure. You sound like you know what to do but it is hard when it is your dad. Be brave. :)